mercredi 2 novembre 2011

Penpals philosophy 101

I will try to make this not too long as I don't want to bore you with some philosophic/psychologic questions but still, I think this is a very interesting subject to discuss. 

One of my penpals asked me 2 questions recently about my relationships to my penpals and the way I write to them. When I started answering her, I felt like it was a really good subject to talk about and felt like I wanted to go deeper in my answers. Thus, I decided to bring up the subject on my blog between a Mail Day and a Music Day. 

Her first question was (sorry B. if I'm changing some words): Do you feel like you have the same kind of relationship with all of your penpals? 

Well, that's a very interesting question indeed. At first, you might be tempted to say "Yes of course, they are all dear friends of mine" but if you think about it, even with your real life friends, your relationship to each one of them is different. Every person is different and with that comes the fact that every relationship is different. With some people you can be joking all the time, as well as talking about more serious subjects and with others, it might be more about emotions, how you feel, what you think about a certain situation or moment in your life. 

Apart from the fact that you have known a person longer than another - let's just consider that you have met all of your penpals on the same day so there is no time issue - the relationship will be based on the first words you said and the first subjects you talked about. If you made a joke when you first contacted someone and the person was very receptive then you might use more jokes in the future with that person when on the other side you started with the music subject with someone else, then your relationship might be based on more artistic values. 

To me, every relationship had to be different because we are all different and put in pairs, we create a whole new world together. Having different relationships doesn't mean you love one person more than the other, it means you're so rich with relationship experiences that your heart is full of smiles and emotions. 

I would really love to have your opinion on this subject so do not hesitate to share it with me and the other readers in this Bubbly World. I would totally agree that you disagree with me :) 

I know I said there were 2 questions, but I'll save the second one for another post. Who knows? Wednesday might become a philosophy/psychology day ;)

6 commentaires:

  1. I agree with you. People are different from each other and this makes each friendship different. But that doesn't mean you love them any less... I have a few people that I call my best friends, but there are some specific topics that I discuss with one of them. It's just the way it is! If people were just the same...well, we'd be all robots!

  2. Well, do we have the same kind of relationship to all our friends? Bet not. Same with penpals. People are different - everyone is unique and so is the relationship to every person.
    I have quite same pen pals and I love writing all of them - but each one is different and so is the friendship. We write about different things (well, as far as our lives let us) and we may even tal - well, write - in different ways.
    It's true - we make nice pairs. Different pairs. Different people emphasize different layers of ourselves - that's what makes relationships unique and special.

    I am curious to know the second question now. :)

  3. I agree with the others: Different people = different kind of friendships. With some people it is easy to find a deeper connection, they open up for more serious and emotional topics faster than others, so these friendships might become stronger and deeper faster than others. Then there are people with whom you are connected through a particular subject in life, like the passion for books, special emotional states or like having kids. :) One of my closest friends through letters once told me she is afraid she could lose my friendship as in contrary to me, she doesn't want to have any children and thought i might prefer my mommy-pals now, which is nonsense, because our friendship isn't based on having kids, but because our souls are connected. So, there are different kind of friendships possible! :D Sorry, I repeat myself, hehe.
    Of course to some I feel closer than to others, but that's normal - like in "real" life. But it's all a give-and-take things. Does that make sense?!

  4. Totally agree with Bruna here, friendships are different because friends are different themselves, people are unique and it's what makes each friendship special.
    I would say I love all of my penpals dearly, and I love them especially because each one of them gives me something that is not the same for everyone! Everyone of my pals is special, in their own unique way! And I am thankful for them all!

  5. I think the same. I have a lot of penpals and I have a different relationship with all of them, but that doesn't mean that we're more friends or less friends, they're all special for me. It's normal to talk about a specific topic with a person who has that in common with you. For example, I usually talk about translation with my Greek penpal, who is also studying translation! Maybe I'll just mention it to another person who maybe isn't that interested in the subject instead of talking in greater depth.
    As you said, Oli, that also happens with our real life friends, and that depends on the experiences you've lived together or apart, on the things you have in common... Everything determines the kind of relationship you'll have with someone.
    Now I'm also curious about the second question =)

  6. I had been meaning to answer this post, but got a little busy. so now i'll answer to it. ;)

    I feel I have the same kind of relationship with my penpals in the sense that we all share the same love of writing. Honestly in todays world it is difficult to find someone who shares the same feelings when it comes to writing, so when I do find someone who views penpalling and writing the same way I view it, I can't be more happier. Sometimes you are going through something and you have a friend who has gone through that same particular situation, well you both connect on that level and can converse about it and understand exactly how she/he feels, that is a beautiful feeling too, when you can understand fully what another is going through because you have been though it too. I also feel a true blue friend is one who, won't get upset at how much time has passed between seeing each other or conversing with each other because a true friend will understand and pick right up where it was left off. =) you can share your life with your friends, and that is what we do in letter writing and i am grateful for all my penpals. By the way when are we goona start writing again?? lol miss your letters girl. xo